BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS »

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Stupid story

It was the time of my life. I was so happy and full of life. All the pieces of my life were falling into place. I had my family, school, and my two best friends Aaron and Zach. My two best friends were the center of my world. Aaron and I, in particular were absolutely inseparable. He and I would tell and do everything together. We were closer to each other then any one else in the world. There wasn’t a day that would go by that we didn’t at least talk once, let alone three or four times. Everything was perfect, and nothing was going to change that.
I had just got back from CIY, church camp, and I could sense that something was different. Aaron was keeping something from me, which was so strange. We told each other everything. So I asked him a few times if there was something wrong, but he shrugged me off each time. So I had no choice but to let it go. Things were never the same.
It was around 11:30 p.m. on a Sunday night when I got a text message. Now this was not uncommon but this particular text turned my world upside down and backwards. Aaron and I had argued a few times that same day, nothing major but I guess it was. Aaron had sent me a text stating that he does not want to be friends anymore. Those words were like acid to my body and mind. A huge, dry, scratchy cotton ball developed in my throat and was unmovable. I could hear my heart beat in my ears, and warm tears flow down my cheeks. It was impossible to breath, like I was hit in the gut by a sumo wrestler. All I could do is stare at that text message and search my mind for any reason why this could be happening. All I could say in return to him is if this was what he really wanted. I loved and respected Aaron enough that if this was what he wanted then so be it. My whole world had crashed. My best friend, my other half, the person I trusted most in this world didn’t want me in his life. Just the thought of those words shattered my heart. As I waited for his reply to my text all I could do is convince myself that it was a joke. It had to be a joke, why would he not want me anymore? Then memories came flooding back to me. All the phone calls, mall days, movies, and notes we had shared together. Until, my memories were interrupted by my phone, I had received a text. I scurried to get to my phone; I couldn’t get to it fast enough. Only to read the word I was dreading, the one word that would tare me apart forever. Yes, that’s all Aaron had sent to me. Yes, the one word I wished and prayed that I wouldn’t receive. I was broken, at that moment no part of me was working. It felt so surreal and bizarre. My best friend in the whole world didn’t want me anymore, for good, forever. Those words were burned into my brain like nothing else mattered in the world.
Each morning I woke up to those words, every time I thought of Aaron those words popped up in my mind. It was horrible, I couldn’t stand it. I was angry, sad, frustrated, confused, there were so many emotions that I couldn’t decide how to feel. Days upon days of this jail like torture. I moved forward, I focused on moving on and getting back to my real life and other friends. It was so terribly hard.
Today I am back to normal or what I guess what you would call normal. I have new friends, and am happy. I do think about Aaron at times, but not to the extent that it used to be. Aaron will always be apart of my life, just not the way that I wish he would be. All I can do is move forward, and focus on finding the right path for my life. That is what I focus on, the right path.

7 comments:

Red said...

Something has happened in his life. Something so traumatic, that he cannot even tell you. He may need time, but then again he may just wanted to move on. But that does not make any sense.

If you two had been blood buddies...what happened? Did a chhick come inot his life? For usually that is something that tears apart a boy/girl frienship. Got to love that green eyed monster.

You have obvioulsy adapted. And your pain has lessened, but like you mentioned, he will laways be a part of you. But here comes the tricky part.

How will you act and what will you say to him, if you should bump into him somewhere? Have you given that any thought? You don't want to blow him off or come across as a female dog, or snooty. Just take a deep breath, relax and beyourself, as if he never sent you that text and watch his reaction.

Good luck!

Stephanie said...

Leaving.
That's sad.
And scarring.
Not forgetful.
Why do we always have to remember the bad things?
They seem stronger than the good things, huh?
Very 'moving' post. =]

Em said...

I'm really sorry but i don't know what to say, u seem to be doing fine on your own, i've had some really bad breakups in my time, and while u and aaron might have only been friends essentially there the same, you pick up the pieces, put them back together, find someone new and move on, they'll allways be a part of u, ie jordan sparks tattoo, but they don't define you, and you can make it through

btw my new blog adress is www.etkiquettedesigns.blogspot.com
and please become a fan!

Anonymous said...

Aw...that's sad..you might never know what it is. Its is strange friendships ..espcially, with guys. I know I always feel much closer in my friendships to guys as to girls. I don't know why that is.

But hopefully, some day you guys will be close again. You're probably a lot stronger than he is in these situations too.

All the best.

Cait said...

Something happened to me a bit like this, but I was younger. Like sixth grade. I think. I'd been so close to this one guy. He was the best. Better than any girlfriends I ever had. And then he just shut me off.

I kept wondering if it had to do that suddenly he realised...I'm a guy, I can't do this with a girl. Be a friend. I have too many "guy" feelings going on.

I don't know. I will never know. And I hate even now that its over cause I'm not sure I'll ever feel quite that close to anyone ever again.

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.